Little Blue Plus
by laxwriter
Summary: "Call her." "Call who?" "The one person who can really help your right now," Rachel is in trouble and there is only one person who can understand who can help her in her time of greatest need.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Okay so this idea came to me after seeing clips of recent episodes and reading some spoilers. It is pretty clear to me that Quinn will not be brought into the pregnancy story line, which seems odd to me since Rachel considers Quinn a good friend, but you know RIB they tend to (not give Quinn good story lines) and do as they please without thinking about there own cannon. So here is what I think should have happened. It is a one shot right now, but if I get enough reviews and you all think I should continue than let me know. I really hope you enjoy it. Please review I really appreciate the time you put into them and i like reading what you have to say. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Glee belongs to its creators and FOX. _**

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It started with a little blue plus sign on a thin stick I'd peed on. Denial was the first emotion that rippled through my body, there was no way I was…there was just no way that I was going to be another statistic. I was bumped well thrust from denial by reality dressed in the form of one Santana Lopez. She confronted me and there was nothing I could do but cry in response. I was pregnant, she knew it and I knew it. She held me as sobs wracked my body. She told me it would be alright, that I would be okay, I wanted to believe her but I couldn't how could this ever be okay? Anger replaced the denial after that night. The unfairness of it all boiled within me until I exploded and kicked the one person that knew my secret and was supporting me out because she questioned the integrity of the father.

He's gone now, left without a word. Kurt is with Adam on a weekend getaway, and Santana, I don't know where she went. I received a voicemail from Finn. I haven't listened to it I don't know how. I feel so alone, no one checks on me for the whole weekend. An unbearable soul destroying sadness settles in my belly, one may call it depression but I don't think I have met the medical criterion for that though I may not be too far off. It had been years, since the beginning of sophomore year, since I felt so friendless and lost.

"Call her." I am startled when I see Santana standing at the foot of my bed.

"Santana what are you doing here?" I am shocked, why would she come back after I so cruelly kicked her out?

"Lady Hummel called me, said you've been despondent since he got home two days ago."

"Kurt's here?"

She sighs and sits on my bed, "You've been in here for at least four days Rachel. You can't… this isn't good for you or the baby."

I am shocked where had the time gone, how could I miss Kurt coming home. Had he talked to me? I look at my bedside table; four uneaten sandwiches and a bowl of soup sit upon it. I move my gaze back to Santana, her eyes are tracing my face, I don't think I have ever seen her look so worried, so weighted down by life. "I'm sorry I kicked you out."

She waved me off, "It's fine."

"No, it's not. Please come back."

She smiled at me, "Kurtsie already offered. I am cool on my own but I have a feeling you two wouldn't survive much longer without my Latina third eye."

I can't help but laugh a little. Suddenly she becomes serious and hands me my phone, "Call her."

I look at the phone confused, "Call who?"

"The one person who can really help your right now," Santana looked away and when she returned her eyes to me they were lined with tears, "I didn't do right by her, I don't know how to deal with this shit. Rach I care about you, you're family, and I don't want to fail you like I failed her. So just call her, she's the best person for this."

I instantly know who she is talking about, I know she is right, I'd briefly thought about it myself when I first learned of my predicament but quickly dismissed it. I didn't want to drag her hear again for me. "Won't it hurt her?"

Santana shrugged, "Probably but I think it'll hurt more if she finds out that you didn't call her."

I nodded and dial the number for some reason I had memorized despite the few times my fingers had entered it. I am staring into Santana's eyes as I hear her answer.

"Rachel hey how are you?"

I close my eyes at the question, I take a deep breath. "Rach, you there?" She sounds worried.

I open my eyes and Santana gives the slightest of nods. I jump right in. "I'm pregnant."

"I'm on my way."

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I never realized how strong and brave Quinn was until now, until I sat on my couch staring at four piles of pamphlets in front of me. They are split into categories, to my left is abortion, in the middle is adoption subdivide into open and closed, and to my right is the "so you're keeping it" pile. It's daunting and for the first time in my life I don't want to be informed, I don't want a power point presentation of the pros and cons of my options. How did Quinn ever make this decision at sixteen?

I look up and she is sitting across from me, her hazel eyes so unbelievable kind and comforting. I have no clue how she had time to get all of this information as she seemed to apparate Harry Potter style onto my front step in just three hours. I am vaguely away of Santana sitting quietly to my right. She's is there for support nothing more and nothing less.

"You don't have to look at those yet; I just know how you are so I thought I would get them for you." Quinn says quietly. When she first arrived I hesitated unsure if my hug would be welcome in this situation but she crossed the threshold of the door and pulled me into her so fiercely. I cried and cried until I had nothing left. It was time to talk, which is why I called her, right?

"Do you know how far along you are?"

I shrug, "I, I haven't gone to the doctors yet." I have no clue actually but I had my period nearly seven weeks ago so it can't me longer than that.

Quinn nodded, "Okay that is something we need to get done soon. No use fretting if it was a false positive."

I shake my head, "Quinn I'm three weeks late, I am never late."

"Okay. What do you want to do? We can go to a clinic now or we can talk about your options or we can turn Santana into a pack mule and have her get us ice cream, movies, and vegan pizza."

"Hey." Santana retort indignantly.

I giggled, these little moments of levity are a god send. The moment passes to soon and importance of the situation settles around us again.

I may not want to be informed but I need to be. "Why did you do it?" I ask her.

She looks confused and raises that infamous eyebrow at me. "Why did you choose to keep Beth even though you knew what was going to happen; that your future was disappearing before your very eyes, that your life was crumbling around you?"

I watch her swallow as she closes her eyes tight at my question. So my wording may have been a little dramatic, but it was still true. Quinn's future was in the air as soon as she decided to keep Beth. "I mean you could have gotten an abortion and no one would have been the wiser."

When her eye lids rolled up again and reveled those gorgeous mesmerizing eyes I was forced to hold in my gasp. They was so much pain behind the hazel, it was heartbreaking to see.

"Why did I go through with the pregnancy when I knew deep down that my family would throw me out, that I would likely never get out of Lima, that my reputation would be tarnished forever, and my status at school would drop faster than the stock market crash?" Her voice was flat and near emotionless.

"Yeah."

"Despite my own personal decision Rachel I believe in a women's right to choose. Everyone is different, their beliefs, their moral, they are all distinct and individual. No one person's life is the same, the right decision for one woman may not be the right one for another. At the end of the day it is the woman's choice. Sure the man should have a say but in the end he isn't the one who's body will be change forever, who cares a growing, moving, living child within them, they are not the one who goes through the most wondrous pain ever to give live to another human being, and they are not the ones who's reputation can be destroyed." Quinn paused and looked down at her hands. I listened intently. Never had I heard Quinn speak like this and a quick glance at Santana who was leaning forward now I knew she hadn't either. I wondered if anyone had. Part of me want to be the first to see this side of Quinn and the other part wanted soak in and learn from what Quinn had to teach me. My future decision and their fore life depended on what I learn here and now.

"With all that being said, I do not believe in abortion, not just because that was what I was taught as a child but because I truly and entirely believe that life begins at conception. It does not matter to me that the child is merely a cluster of cells at that point, it is still alive and growing so it is a person. Abortion to me is murder."

A lump fills my throat at her words. When she first started talking I thought I was getting my pass, if Quinn Fabray, Christian Princess of McKinley, was Prochoice and condoned abortion, than it couldn't be that bad. Now my hope was crushed, Quinn believes abortion was murder. Was it?

"My moral beliefs are only half the reason I went through with my pregnancy. The other reason is that I am a firm believer in taking the consequences of your actions. It was my choice to have sex, no matter how inebriated I was at the time; it was my choice to believe Puck when he said to 'trust' him when I asked about birth control. Those were my mistakes my errors in judgment and I was the one who would have to deal with the consequences. I have made many mistakes in my life and I have learned that the only way to learn from them, to become a better and stronger person is to live through and deal with the consequence no matter what they were. The results of me having sex were a baby, becoming homeless and losing my family and reputation. But I like to think I came out the other side a new and improved Quinn, even if it took me a long time to realize it. So I guess the short answer to your question is that I went through with the pregnancy because I thought it was the right thing to do."

I had never realized it before, but as I listened to Quinn talk about her moral code I realized that she had never made excuses for her actions for her mistakes, for her behavior. Quinn was always the first to admit she wasn't perfect and never once did she complain about how unfair her situation was.

I didn't speak at first allowing Quinn's wash over me. I understood Quinn's views. They made sense to me and if I was being honest I had whole heartily agreed with her, until now. Now I that it was me in this situation, me who had to decide essentially between Broadway and the life of an innocent child I didn't know if I did anymore. Did that make a horrible person that I would choose my dreams, my future, my life over my baby's?

I lightly thumb through the materials that Quinn had brought me, I breezed through the abortion information, not really wanting to entertain that option yet, I instead looked closer at the adoption flyers. There was closed adoption where I would not be able to contact or see my child unless they came looking for me at eighteen or there was open adoption where I could receive anything from yearly pictures and letters to visitation right depending on the family that took my child in.

"Do your regret it?"

Quinn had been sitting in her chair looking at the ceiling when I spoke, she was startled and shook her head, "Regret what? Going through the pregnancy or…" Her gaze falling on the adoption pamphlet in my hand, "giving Beth up for adoption?"

"Both I guess."

"Neither is the short answer. Looking back on everything, if I could go back and do it all again I would, well accept lying to Finn about being the father. I was so scared back then but that doesn't excuse my choices or behavior. What I did to him and by extension Puck was horrible and I will regret that the rest of my life. I should never have put Finn through that type of pain and stress and I should never have prevented Puck from being a father. He is a great father and I was wrong to assume he'd be dead beat. Beth is the best thing to ever happen to me and I would never choose any future that didn't have her in it. As for giving her up for adoption, no I can't and don't regret that either. "

"Did you ever want her?" I was so curious, even though this was so new to me and I was frightened out of my mind, there was part of me that wanted this child.

"The whole time."

"But you gave her away." I questioned.

Quinn rubbed her face. "The first thing you learn when you decide to keep a child is that your life and your future comes second to them. Your happiness means nothing if it isn't right for your child. I flip-flopped on deciding to keep her through my entire pregnancy. In the beginning I was keeping her, that part of why I did what I did to Finn. I knew my child need a good father, and Finn could be that. After I was kicked out, after Puck continued to be the player he'd been before I got pregnant, after I spend the back half of my pregnancy hopping form home to home, I realized that I was in no place to keep her. I wanted to so much, but it wouldn't be fair to Beth, it wouldn't have been the best life I could provide for her, and as her mother it was job, my duty to give her the best life possible, the best chance at having wonderful and loving family. Even when my mom came back and offered to turn the guest room into a nursery, it wasn't right, it was too late. How could I bring my child into a situation I knew nothing about? My relationship with my mom had been strained at best before I go pregnant and it was shatter to nothing after she let my father kick me out. So much energy would go into rebuilding that relationship and the tension and stress of that type of environment wouldn't be good for a baby to grow up in. I was too young to be a mother and though it pained me to admit I couldn't be the mother Beth deserved and despite what Puck said he couldn't be the father."

Quinn paused again, her hand going to a little silver bracelet on her wrist that I just noticed, there was a small diamond pendant hanging from it. "If I am being completely honest, had Shelby not offered to adopt Beth I may not have gone through with the adoption process. The idea of my child being lost in the foster system was terrifying and I knew that I could give her better than that. But Shelby came into our lives and I am eternally grateful to her for loving my baby girl, for giving her the life I couldn't."

Tears slid down Quinn's cheeks and she gave me a watery smile. "I won't lie Rachel, the pain of giving Beth away is excruciating and I am not sure it will ever go away. There will always be pain when a person loses a child it doesn't matter how, abortion, adoption, or miscarriage and death. There is no way around it. The physical fades quickly but the mental and emotional wounds are too deep and will fester forever."

I felt like crying again, I didn't want to be in pain, not in the pain Quinn clearly was. I didn't want to know the loss of a child. I don't think I am strong enough to endure it.

Quinn took a deep breath and scotched closer to me, her long thing hands folded around mine, "I have one more thing to say and this is important so you listen to me closely Rachel Barbra Berry."

I nodded quietly.

"No matter what you decide, abortion, adoption or keeping the baby I am here for you. You will never be alone in this. I am here for you. Whether it is going to a clinic, going to doctor's appointments, to scream at as you let out your frustration and fear, to make you laugh and forget even for just a moment, I am here, I will be that person for you."

"Why?" Tears streamed down my face.

She smiled and raised a hand from mine, her gentle thumb wiping away my tears. The same hand cupped my face and I leaned into its warmth, "Because I care for you Rachel, you are my friend, you are part of the family that choose to love me, because when I fell you picked me up, and most of all because I wish I had someone like that for me."

I've never felt so grateful and relieved in my life. Quinn would give me what she hadn't had. Sure we had all been there for her in one way or another, offered a little help and support here and there when we felt the need too, but none of us had been that one person, that one person Quinn could have turned to when everything became too much, to be her rock. Quinn had been forced to be her own rock and now she was going to me mine, and I would forever be eternally grateful.

"Thank you." I whispered.

Strong arms wrapped around me and squeezed me tight, "Me too, Berry. I am here for you too. When Q can't be here, I will be your shoulder." I turned to Santana and smiled my thanks. I knew she spoke the truth. Santana cared about me she'd already proven that by being my sole confidant and then encouraging me to call Quinn. Part of me knew she was just trying to make up for not being the friend Quinn had needed back in high school but the larger part of it was that Santana was a good and loyal friend who simply wanted to help her friend. I was so blessed to have these two in my life. They'd once been my bullies and now they were my heroes, they were my friends.

"Thank you so much both of you, just thank you."

We held each other a while longer before Santana stood up, "Alright this pack mule is off to get comfort foot. When I get back the tears better be gone and a good movie, no musicals hobbit, better be on."

Quinn and I laughed as Santana sauntered off. Later that night as I sat between my two friends, head resting on Quinn I suddenly felt like everything was going to be okay, that no matter what I chose my friends would help me, and that is when acceptance came to me. I was pregnant and it was scary and overwhelming but it wasn't the end of the world. I would be alright, just as Santana had told me all those nights ago. I was a strong and independent woman and I would survive. If Quinn could go through with a pregnancy at sixteen and still achieve her dreams than I could do the same at nineteen. I'd make it to Broadway. I may not know what I was going to do yet, but it didn't matter, with Santana and Quinn by my side I could do anything.

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_**Please Review**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and requests for me to continue. I am really glad you like this one. So I need to ask a favor, I normally don't do this because I have ships in mind already but this one is providing me with some trouble, I can see it going so many ways. So I am asking for your opinion on who the relationships should be. I can't promise I will definitely go with your opinion but it will help me decide. So let me know what you prefer to see. Your choices are: Faberry, Finchel, Quintana, Britanna, or Quinn/OC and Rachel/ OC and Santana/OC. Would you rather this be a great friendship fic or a romance fic for our characters. Thanks for you opinions. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. **

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Little Blue Plus: Ch. 2

I woke up earlier then both Quinn and Santana. Walking out to the living room I noticed Quinn was no longer on the couch. Curious I tiptoed towards Santana's side and peaked behind the curtains.

There they were, Santana propped up her strong arms embracing Quinn tightly, Quinn resting her head and upper body against Santana's chest. Santana's mouth mere centimeters from her blonde friend's ear, red streaks snaked down from Quinn's bedded eyes over her Jaw. It was clear as day to me what happened last night, after I'd fallen asleep from emotional exhaustion Santana had held a crying Quinn while whispering long overdue comforts into Quinn's ear.

Guilt filled me; of course my current predicament would cause emotional turmoil for Quinn. Sighing I headed to the kitchen and started breakfast quietly, I didn't want to wake my friends, they'd clearly just managed to fall asleep.

"Smells good," looking up I saw Kurt walk over to me. He eyed me then his eyes went to the curtains dividing Santana's room from the rest of the apartment. "So you going to tell my why our steely yet endearing blond friend arrived suddenly yesterday?"

"Just visiting." I reply quickly. I'm not sure I'm ready for Kurt to know the truth, he'll be so disappointed in me.

Kurt leaned forward on the island his hands cupping his coffee mug, "Rachel what is wrong?"

"What makes you think anything is wrong?" I knew I was being evasive and uncooperative but it was so hard to discuss this with Kurt.

Kurt sighed and tilted his head staring at me with concern flowing from his blue eyes, "Rachel you were near catatonic for two days and then suddenly Quinn is here."

I shrug, "So? She's just visiting."

"Quinn doesn't just visit. It took me calling about your brief insanity to get her here the first time. Quinn emails, she calls, but she doesn't visit." Okay so that may be true. At first I'd been offended when she didn't use the pass she bought us, I ignored the fact that I hadn't either, but then after talking to Santana, Mercedes, and Brittany I discovered Quinn hadn't visited anyone. She'd been home twice, once for Thanksgiving and once for Mr. Schue's wedding. "So tell me Rachel what has called Quinn to your rescue?"

I bit my lip, I didn't know what to say I wasn't ready for anyone to know outside of Quinn and Santana. I loved Kurt he was my best friend but he was also a boy and my ex-fiancé's brother. How could Kurt possibly understand what I was going through right now. If I told him he'd have to keep it a secret from Finn and I didn't want to be the reason two brothers kept secrets from one another.

Kurt reached out with one of his hands and placed it over mine gently, "Please Rachel. You're my best friend and I want to be here for you. No matter what I will be on your side."

"Stop pushing Lady Hummel, if Rachel isn't ready to tell you then don't push it." Santana came in glaring at Kurt before getting herself a cup of coffee. I heard the front door open and close.

"Where is Quinn going?"

"The robot is off to run, normal people function in the morning with an IV of coffee, Q runs, like really runs."

I looked out to the window; it looked like it was raining, "Is that save you know with her back and stuff?"

Santana shrugged, "She took an inhaler with her and the rest who knows, she's tight lipped about the after effects of the accident. Knowing Q she'll run through any type of pain. Danced at Nationals even if ever step was agonizing thank God Coach Sylvester could get her that cortisone shot."

My eyes went wide, "She needed a cortisone shot to dance that day?"

"Hell yeah, you really think it is natural to be dancing that soon after your spin is compressed into a thin line. Girl was in so much fucking pain all summer."

"I had no clue."

"No one did. I only know because I found her crying in the park unable to move one morning, scary as shit I tell you. Anyway she seems better so I guess the PT up at Yale is working well. Eggs and bacon Kurtsie?"

I watched as Kurt and Santana went about their routine of killing innocent animals in order to satisfy their hunger. My hand went to my stomach. Should I start eating meat or at least dairy by products, a vegan diet couldn't be great when you are pregnant you need more vitamins and stuff when you're having a baby. "Can I have an egg?" I ask quietly.

Kurt spins around his mouth on the floor he is about to say something when his eyes drop to my stomach where I realize I am still cradling my still flat stomach. I drop it but it is too late I can see the truth dawning on soft features. "Oh my God you are pregnant."

"Kurt I…" He cuts me off.

"It makes total sense now, the depression and then Quinn showing up out of the blue. Of course who would be your first call when you find out your pregnant, why not the girl who's already been through it."

I feel tears coming to my eyes. He is pacing back and forth now rubbing his hands through his hair, "Who is the father? Is it Brody or Finn? Oh please tell me it's not Finn's."

I start crying for real now. "I…I" I don't know what to say. My mind is a mess. Kurt looks like he is about to have a coronary.

"Chill Porcelain!" Santana shouts at him. Then she is in front of me. "Rach calm down breath with me." It's only now that I notice I am hyperventilating. I follow Santana's instructions and match my breathing to hers. The light headedness begins to fade and she leads me to the couch where Kurt follows. After I control myself I look at my best friend, his face is neutral and doesn't give away anything he is thinking.

"It is not Finn's we used a condom and I was already a few days late at that time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He sounds so hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him, I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know how too. "You told Santana before me."

"She actually found the test I didn't tell her. I only told Quinn." I reached out and took his hand this time. "I didn't tell you because it would make it real and I wasn't ready for that. I also didn't want you to have to lie to Finn. I don't want him or anyone else knowing until I decide what I want to do."

He didn't say anything at first but then nodded, "Okay. I'll keep this to myself and I will help you with whatever you need. I told you I'd be here for you no matter what and I mean it."

I launched myself into his arms and felt safe for the first time in so long, "Thank you."

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Quinn returned about an hour after leaving she was drenched but didn't seem to notice as she smiled at me and went to the shower. After that we made our way to a local clinic she had researched on her way here.

"It has great reputation and is known for informing patients without influencing their decision." Quinn said as we took the subway ride there. It was just the two of us. Santana had work and Kurt a study group, both had offered to skip to come with me but I declined. I didn't really want a lot of people with me. Just Quinn was good enough for me.

When we got there I was surprised at how unassuming the building was. It was in an old brownstone there were not protestors or advocates at the entrance. When we got inside it was decorate nicely with floral pictures and calm colors. I filled out the information sheet and waited for my name to be called. Quinn and I didn't speak, there wasn't a need to so instead we just sat our hands intertwined.

Soon my name was called and I stood. Quinn stood with me, "Do you want me to come or stay?" I paused what did I want? Part of me wanted her to be there to be my rock as she had pledge to be but another part of me felt this was something I had to do myself. It was odd standing her trying to decide if I wanted Quinn Fabray to come with me for arguably the most important doctor's appointment in my life. Two years about I would never have guessed that it would be Quinn I yearned to be by my side when I found out if my life would be changed forever. That had always been Finn's role and if I am honest with myself there was still a part of me that wanted him but it was small and very deep.

"Come."

"Okay."

The exam was quick and the nurse took a blood sample before disappearing. We waited forever it seemed before the doctor returned. "Well Rachel congratulations you are pregnant."

My heart stopped at her words. My body went limp and then I was in Quinn's embrace. This was it; it was really true I was 19 years old and pregnant. How was I supposed to do this? What had happened? One minute I was on my way to becoming the newest Broadway star and now I was going to be a mom, oh Lord a mom.

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**PLEASE REVIEW**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: **Sorry for the delayed update. I hope you like it. I am still trying to decide what the make the ship be but I appreciate the suggestions, they all sound good. I think I will have to let Rachel and Quinn decide for me. In case you are wondering they are strongly and firmly just friends at the moment. Please continue to leave your fantastic reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. **

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Ch. 3

Quinn left for Yale that Sunday night. After the doctor confirmed my pregnancy Quinn took me home and carefully we went through my options. I still didn't know what I wanted to do but Quinn told me I still had time to decide, to not make a snap decision. So she left on Sunday with a promise to return on the weekend. Part of me wished she'd stayed, but that was selfish, Quinn had her own life, her own dreams, she'd handled an unwanted pregnancy once already it wasn't her job to help me with mine.

"You alright?" Santana came in late that night, she flopped down beside me.

"I. I don't know." I said honestly. There was no way to describe what I was currently feeling. It was as if a giant mass of emotions was twirling inside of me. I was terrified, I was nervous, I was happy. I had had a child, my child growing inside of me. No matter how scary that face was a tiny part of me was excited, I loved this child, but could I keep her or him, could I give up the future I had dreamed of and fought for my whole life. All the torment, the name calling, the slushies, and the swirlies I endured growing up had been worth it, would be worth it if I became a Broadway star. It be the biggest slap in the face to all the bullies who tore me down, who said I'd be nothing. If I had this baby I may never become the new Barbra, I'd be proving my tormentors and naysayers right.

"What should I do San?" I asked rolling on my side to look at her. She copied my motion so we were facing on another, "God Berry, I can't…no one can answer that question for you."

"What would you do?" I insisted

She looked away, "I don't know. I like to believe that I'd be brave like Q and have the child and then give it up if that was the best thing for the child but I am an inherently selfish person."

"No you're not." I rebuked her. Sometimes, like Quinn, Santana was too hard on herself.

"I am but I'm working on it. Anyway I don't know what I'd do, no one does not until they are in that situation."

We fell silent for a moment then Santana handed me a piece of paper. "What's this?"

"Access to another perspective."

I looked at the number and address then the name scrawled below it, I froze.

"How'd you get this?"

"Puck gave it to me, wanted me to check up on her if I got a chance."

"Does Quinn know?"

"No. They, it's still not a great situation there."

I bit my lip. Did I want to go down this path? Did I want to have this conversation? My heart raced. San was right it would provide me with another perspective. I looked up at my new best friend, that's what we'd become, not just acquaintances or teammates or even just friends. In the short time she'd been here Santana had quickly become my best friend. "Go with me?"

"Of course."

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She lived in a row of brownstones downtown. It was decorated with neutral and pastel colors. The floors were covered with toddler's toys, the walls a mixture of contemporary art and photos of Beth. Currently I sat in the kitchen across from my mother while Santana played with Beth in the adjacent living room.

"I won't lie and say I am not surprised you are here but I am very glad you stopped by."

I nodded my eyes glued to the blonde headed little girl who was shoving blocks at Santana.

"She's getting big." I commented.

"Very. She keeps me on my toes, constantly moving that one."

"She looks even more like Quinn." I heard Shelby's breath catch. I probably shouldn't have brought up Quinn but it was hard not to when I was staring at her mini twin.

"There's a resemblance."  
I heard Santana snort but that was the only indication that my friend was listening to our conversation.

"Rachel." Shelby's call tore my eyes away from the duo. Shelby looked concerned as her eyes studied me.

"Is everything alright? How is NYADA?"

"NYADA is great. I'm doing really well, even made the winter showcase." She smiled kindly and was that pride I saw behind her chocolate eyes. "That is quite an accomplishment Rachel, congratulations." I ducked my head blushing at her praise. Somehow through everything her praise and pride in me meant more to me than anyone else's except maybe Quinn's.

"So this is just a social call, you don't need help?"

I felt my throat close. Glancing back I saw Santana give me the slightest head nod of encouragement. "Actually I, I need your advice."

"Advice? On what?"

I bit my lip for what felt like the millionth time, this was definitely a nervous habit I had picked up from Quinn. Looking over at Beth again my hand slid to my stomach, I could have a little one just like that. Was I ready? If Quinn, the smartest and most responsible person I know wasn't ready how could I be? I was way more self-involved and emotional than Quinn ever was.

"I'm pregnant Shelby." I finally said it, somehow I managed to keep my eyes on her. I expected to see disappointment or disgust but instead there was sympathy and worry shining from her. It was a similar look to what I'd come to recognize coming from Kurt, Santana, and Quinn.

"Oh Rachel how are you handling it?" Wow no condemnation, no question on how I could let this happen.

"Um…not good at first but then Quinn came down from New Haven and she's been fantastic and supportive. So have Santana and Kurt, I don't think I could have made it this past week without them, especially Quinn."

"Quinn, really?" I could hear the disbelief in her voice and it turned my stomach. Shelby knew nothing about Quinn.

"Yes Quinn. The moment I called she was on the next train to New York. She took me to the clinic. She hasn't pressured me once to make a decision or what decision to make. She's only supported me and answered my questions and provided information for the questions she couldn't answer." My voice was firm and strong, "She's been my rock despite how much pain this situations must be bringing back for her."

Shelby just nodded. I knew that was all I'd get from her on the Quinn matter. "How can I help," she finally asked.

"I want your perspective, both as a surrogate who gave up their child and as a mother who was generously given a child. I also want your opinion to how this will affect my career."

Shelby started at me for a moment before beckoning me to join her on her back porch. It was little, as nobody owns much land in New York, but if was refreshing to step outside.

"I really don't know what to say Rachel. My situation with you is very different than the situation you find yourself in. I was young looking for a way to New York when I came upon your fathers' ad. You were never mine to keep. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt to give you away. It was excruciating watching your fathers' take you away. That pain it never goes away. It dulls some, you learn to live with it, but it will remain forever."

I wanted to say Quinn had said the same thing but I didn't think it was the appropriate time.

"As for adopting Beth," a huge smile grew upon Shelby's face, "She was the greatest gift I ever received. She isn't a replacement for you, she doesn't heal the whole in my heart where you belong, but she warms it and fills the remaining space with love. I loved you both equally, you both are my daughters. Having Beth, it fulfills a dream I thought I lost when I let you go. I'm eternally grateful to Quinn and Noah for allowing me to adopt her, to call her my daughter. No mate what happened between the three of us I will always be indebted to them for their selfless and brave decision."

Two years ago I would have been jealous of Beth for how Shelby spoke of he, I'm ashamed to admit I resented the toddler at first for taking my mote away. I know better now. It wasn't Beth's fault, or Quinn's, or even Shelby's. Shelby was never meant to be my mom as she said though that didn't mean we couldn't be good friends.

"If you decide to give this baby away you will be giving a happy couple or single person the greatest gift and you should be proud of that. It'll hurt though Rachel, so much. I'd suggest an open adoption if possible. It can work out even if it didn't for Beth."

I clamped my mouth shout, I wanted to yell 'it could, give Quinn another chance', but I couldn't not now. I would though, I would.

"As for your career, I don't know honey. Broadway is time consuming, you'll need a babysitter, you'll have to spend multiple hours a day away from the baby. It'll be expensive maybe too expensive in the beginning. Broadway and motherhood are 24/7 jobs, it'll be difficult to do both properly. Not to mention you still have 3 years of school yet. It'll be very hard Honey. If you keep the baby you may have to give up Broadway."

I knew those words would tumble from Shelby's lips and they were a knife through my heart. How could I possibly choose between my dreams and my child?

"Rachel," I looked back up at her. She was reached over and grabbed my hands, "no matter what you choose I will be here for you, be it as a babysitter or as moral support, I am here."

I could hear the sincerity in her voice, it was refreshing to hear Shelby finally step up for me. "Thank you."

QFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQF

We stayed another hour. Beth, I just don't have words for Beth, she is so adorable and I love her more than I thought possible. There is so much Quinn in that little girl from her instinctive eyebrow raise to her grace on toddler's legs. There was Puck in her too, her smile was all him and the mischievous glint she gets in her eyes just before she does something she was told not to.

Beth somehow eased the tension between Shelby and Santana that was so palpable. I know Santana hates Shelby for cutting Quinn out, a part of me did too but there were two sides to every story. Santana was fiercely loyal though so she'd only see Quinn's pain.

As we turned to leave I decide it was time to say something. Santana was at the bottom of the stoop while I was at the top, Beth on my hip, saying goodbye.

"When was the last time you heard of Quinn?" I asked Shelby but my eyes on the hazel matching Quinn's.

"Not since sectionals." Shelby growled.

"So you don't know she nearly died in a horrific car crash. A car crash she got into because though she told me not to and that she didn't approve she decided to support me and come to my wedding."

"You got married?"

I shook my head; seriously that is what she heard. "No, Quinn didn't show so I postponed . We found out later about the crash. She was in a coma for a week and paralyzed for 3 months. She just started walking before Nationals."

"Oh my." I saw Shelby look at Beth probably imagining it was Beth.

"Yeah, it was so scary, but Quinn, Quinn was great. She could have been bitter, could have been angry, could have blamed me because I was incessantly texting her causing her to feel compelled to answer and take her eyes off the road, she could have become depressed again, but she did none of that. She held her head high and beat the odds walking months before any of the doctors said she would."

I let that information sink in before continuing. "She's at Yale you know, got in early decision. We all feared with the accident she would be able to go. She did though. She made Provost List last semester and is on track to make it again."

"That's amazing. How is her health now?" Shelby asked hesitantly.

"She doesn't admit it but I know her legs hurt her still and she fatigues fast. She had a collapsed lung that makes her susceptible to illnesses, hence the walking pneumonia she had over Christmas break. She is good and healthy right now though."

I kissed Beth on the top of the head before handing her to Shelby. "Quinn's really turned her life around. She knows she was wrong and she regrets it immensely. You should give her another chance."

"Rachel it's not that easy."

I shook my head, "But it is. I've given you a third chance. You broke my heart two times yet here I am offering you a relationship with me and potentially your grandchild. Quinn made a mistake a similar mistake you made when you came blazing into my life unannounced using a student t get to me. The only difference between what you did with Jess and that tape and what Quinn did was that Quinn was a scared, confused, hurt, and depressed 17 year old and you were a 34 year old with a bad case of 'what ifs'. Think about it Shelby, really think if you of all people have the right to condemn a young girl for wanting a relationship with her daughter."

So the end of my speech may have been a little harsh but every word was true. After a moment I kissed Shelby, a stone still Shelby, goodbye and left my final words, "I'll call you, I want to know you and Beth."

Of course when we rounded the corner Santana attacked me, "Berry that was awesome. I've wanted to put that hypocrite in her place for a year but Q forbid me. Seriously that was so badass and awesome." She was practically flying as she hopped around me in excitement.

"I only told the truth."

"Wait till Q hears." I grabbed Santana's arm and pulled her to me. "Quinn can't know."

"Why?"

"Because if Shelby doesn't reconsider her hopes and heart will be crushed again."

Santana looked away then nodded, "Alright the Shelby Smack Down will remain a secret."

I laughed, "It wasn't a smack down."

"It so was. Come on Berry let's get Berry fetus some ice cream, the real stuff not that vegan crap you filled the fridge with."

And we did.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Next chapter. Mostly fluff and friendship until the end. I hope you like it. I've decided this will be a Faberry romance but it will be a long way in coming. Neither girl is in lover with one another yet or even considering beginning together as an options. Both have a lot to deal with before they are in a place to explore a relationship. Please be patient with me shippers (especially since this is my first Faberry or chapter story for girl/girl romance). Let me know what you think I love reviews and _THANK_****_ YOU _to all of you who have review I loved reading them. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

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Ch. 4

Just as she had promised Quinn was at my door by 5 o'clock that Friday night. Despite the bright smile she gave me she looked tired. Small dark bags had formed below her eyes. I hoped they weren't my fault. "You look like you haven't slept." I blurted out as soon as the door was shut. She rolled her eyes.

"I had a major paper due today. I was up for 48 hours finishing it."

I couldn't help putting my hands on my hips and tapping my foot at her, "Quinn Fabray how dare you leave a project to the last minute. That is highly irresponsible and a terrible work ethic for someone at such a prestigious institution."

Quinn threw her arm around my shoulder. "I do my best work under a deadline."

"She ain't lying; I don't remember a single paper she didn't write the day before in high school. She procrastinates and gets A's , I study days ahead of time and get B's."

"And A's San you're a great student."

"Eh, mediocre at best. Come on Tubbers I haven't had a decent meal in months get your ass in that kitchen and whip something up for us. Don't worry about it being vegan Berry gave that up since she's got a Berry spawn to think about."

Quinn dropped her things by the couch and moved to the kitchen. "Do you even have fresh food here?"

"I went shopping just for you, no chop chop Chef Fabray."

I stood by the front door stunned. I was bewildered but amused by the two's interactions. I'd never seen Quinn and Santana this at ease with one another. I'd believe it was new development due to maturity but the way they bantered and now moved seamlessly around the kitchen told me this was nothing new for them; that this is how the two HBICs of Mckinley acted in private or when in the presence of someone they trusted; someone whom they didn't feel the need to pretend around. In this moment I joined the ranks of Brittany and perhaps Puck, it was a small club, the people Santana and Quinn truly trusted and valued and I was overjoyed at finally being one of those people.

It was pure hilarity watching the duo in the kitchen. Quinn was a perfectionist. Putting out ingredients ahead of time, measuring them exactly, only to have Santana mess it up by adding her own "pazang" as Santana put it, to every step. Rachel expected Quinn to get upset but instead she'd laugh as she playfully glared at her friend.

The result was the best fajitas and chili I had ever tasted. "This is amazing, Quinn where did you learn to cook?" I asked after my second bowl of chili.

"Housewife 101." Santana mumbled.

Quinn sent her an annoyed glance before turning back to me. "My mother, she felt it was imperative that I develop a certain set of skills."

"Like walking with a stick up your ass, staying quiet until spoken too, cooking, cleaning, writing invitations, hosting society events…"

"Santana enough." Quinn snapped, "My mom has changed now leave it."

"She tried to turn you into a Stepford Wife."

Quinn stood up cleaning all the plates, "Because that is how she was raised. She has become much more liberal minded recently."

Santana shrugged, "Whateves. I pick the movie."

I moved to help Quinn clean but she dismissed me with a wave of her hand. I could tell she needed a moment to collect herself. Following Santana I sat on the couch as she went through our DVD collection.

"Why must you push her buttons? Dinner was so nice."

"It's what we do."

"She's upset now." I countered.

Santana sighed. "Her parents, they just …it pisses me off. Q, she's just starting to realize her childhood wasn't 'All American'."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I hate it when Santana gets cryptic. She does it so much when she is talking about Quinn, it's as if she wants to share so much but feels like she can't because it would break Quinn's confidence so she leaves a trail of bread crumbs instead.

Santana looked away and then back to me, "It means that our girl grew up in a home where women were second class citizens, to be seen not heard. It means that any punishment was acceptable for stepping out of line, of challenging the status quo, and our Quinnie challenged it a lot."

I wanted to ask for more detail but Quinn joining us stopped our conversation. "Now that Santana has finished slandering my mother and over exaggerating the conditions of my WASP upbringing can we watch a movie, preferably something where smartass Latinas die first."

I laughed at that and Santana shot me a piercing glare.

"Fuck you Fabray."

"Been there done that Lopez." Quinn winked.

My mind went into over load as I stared between my two best friends, Quinn with her triumphant smirk and Santana with an appreciative and impressed smile. Was Quinn serious or was this a joke to get under Santana's skin? If that was it it didn't work as Santana broke into a belly deep laughter. "Touché Fabray Touché."

"Wait," I called attention to myself, "you two slept together?"

"Sure did short stack." Santana smiled at me.

"Wh..when?" I was truly flabbergasted. My mind was having a difficult time imaging Quinn, good Christian girl straight as a lace, Quinn Fabray having sex with Santana Sapphic Lopez Queen of Lesbian Land.

"Mr. Shue's non-wedding." Quinn said nonchalantly as she pulled a DVD form Santana's hand and put it in the player.

"Why?" I gasped.

"Why not? Seriously Berry what woman wouldn't want to tap this?" I barely kept my eyes from rolling as I focused on Quinn.

"Why? I was curious and drunk and wanted to know what it was like to be with a woman." She said it like it was the most logical thing in the world. God these two were so confusing. I needed a manual for each of them and then one for their relationship.

"But your best friends." I stammered still trying to get my head the whole situation. I felt as if I was in shock and nothing made sense. Quinn and Santana, Santana and Quinn had sex.

"Exactly. Rachel, look I don't know what they big deal is. Q's my best friend. I'd rather her to satisfy her curiosity and take a tumble through Sapphic exploits with me than some stranger who wouldn't take their time with her, who could hurt her."

I felt my appreciation for Santana and the amazing person she was grow, that was the most caring and loving thing I'd heard her say about anyone outside of Brittany.

"I knew I could trust San, that she'd be good to me. I was also confident that our friendship would survive one night of sexual exploration."

I was beginning to understand. I guess it made sense; who better than your best friend to help you understand your own sexuality. "so what was the verdict, are you gay?"

Quinn shook her head, "Though it was great."

"Amazing." Santana corrected.

"Yes amazing. I didn't, it wasn't like this 'ah ha' moment for me, like nothing clicked in place and I realized I was gay. I didn't like it any more or less than my night with Puck. Both were good, both felt good physically but neither felt right." Quinn looked slightly resigned, "I don't really know what that means, though both Santana and my roommate think I'm asexual."

A chuckle came from Santana.

"But I prefer to think I haven't found the right person, whoever they are and whatever gender they may be. So I guess I'll take one from your book and say my sexuality is fluid and undefinable."

I could get that. I had often said the same thing, that you love the person not the gender, though I've never dated or had sex with anyone but men.

"Now enough about my sex life. Move time. Lopez popcorn."

"Sure thing Cap."

I pressed play and **Goonies** came up, "Really Quinn?"

"Best movie ever now shut it Rach."

"Sure thing Cap." I said in my impression of Santana which caused both of us to laugh, tonight would be a good night.

QFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRB

That night had been great, perfect even; actually I had the most fun in who knows how long that weekend. Santana, Quinn, and I fell asleep watching TV sometime around 2am after watching classic 80s films. It was odd and slightly disconcerting to wake up with Quinn's arms wrapped around me and my head buried into her side yet it was also so comfortable and safe. Kurt appeared around ten on Saturday and joined us on a day out in the city. Amazingly enough neither Kurt nor myself had been to the classic New York tourist spots so we all went to the top of Empire State Building where Quinn and Santana decided to reenact the end of Sleepless in Seattle with me playing Jonah, don't ask me how that happened because I have no clue. Next was Ellis Island followed by the World Trade Center and finally to the library for Quinn.

Sunday was a much more relaxing day, though she didn't admit it Santana,Kurt, and I knew Quinn's legs and back were in a lot of pain after our marathon day of walking so we stayed in and rented movies. We ate pizza, drank soda, and dinned on frozen yogurt. Kurt complained about having to run it all off this week, Santana offered to work out with him (he politely declined) and Quinn took a two hour nap before having to leave for New Haven.

Sure nothing had been decided all weekend, in fact other than Santana's Berry Spawn comment on Friday no one brought up the pregnancy and I was thoroughly grateful. I still hadn't made up my mind about what I wanted to do yet I was done talking about it. I had talked to Quinn, Santana, Kurt, and Shelby, now I just needed to sit down and make my decision. I was determined to make the best decision not only for myself but for my baby. There was no getting around it, the child growing inside of me was mine, wanted or not it was my job as its mother to do what was best for it. I was beginning to think abortion wasn't an option, I was already growing attached to the peanut sized baby forming in my wound but I would make a rash decision, it still may be best if I don't go through with this pregnancy. I came to realize I had to talk to one more person that there was only one other opinion I felt compelled to get before making the most important choice in my life.

I found him in our school's library. I still didn't know why I hadn't heard from him but it didn't matter. I may be the one whom this pregnancy would affect the most but he was the father and he had the right to know I was pregnant and to have an opinion about what to do next.

"Hey." My voice sounded small and vulnerable even to me so I wasn't surprised by his next words.

"Rachel, are you okay?" He really was a good guy deep down despite everything.

"Um can we talk somewhere private?" He silently packed up his books and followed me outside. We grabbed a coffee and headed to a local park. It wasn't until we were sat on the bench that either of us spoke.

"Rachel what's up?" He sounded scared. Good he should be.

"Brody I have something important to tell you." I bit my lip not sure how to continue.

"Alright."

"I…I'm pregnant." I stared at him trying to gauge his reaction. His jaw hung open, his eyes grew big. He said nothing for a long time and I was about to leave when I saw his Adam's Apple move with a forced swallow.

"Okay, um…what happens now?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I need to decide if I want an abortion or if I want to give the baby up for adoption or keep it. I thought you deserved to have a say."

He rubbed his face before looking at me sadly, "I'm so sorry Rachel, I should have used protection."

"We both decided to forgo it that night." We'd been drunk after a party and neither thought one night without a condom would hurt.

"I still should have used it. I knew you normally never went without protection, we'd talked about it extensively."

"It's done Brody there is nothing we can do to change what we did that night. I am pregnant and now we have deal with it. We can do this together or I can do it myself it is up to you."

He grabbed my hands and squeezed them tight, "I know I am not the man you thought I was, I know I lied to you and that I betrayed your trust, but I will not let you do this alone Rachel, I care to much about you to do that."

I smiled and felt relieved, Brody would help and I knew he'd keep his promise. "Thank you. Do you have an opinion on what to do?"

He leaned back against the bench, "Part of me wants you to have an abortion because I know having this baby can be detrimental to your career and I'd hate to be the reason you don't make it to Broadway, but I also don't want you to feel the pain of aborting, I don't want that pain. I think you should have the baby Rachel, as for adoption or keeping it, I leave that to you. I will support you no matter what you choose. If you decide adoption I will sign over my rights no questions asked, if you keep it I would like to help you raise it, be its father in every way."

"I know how much family means to you." I admitted. I wasn't surprised by his answer. Brody loved family; he often talked of having a large one someday. He came from a large family and despite their financial woos Brody wouldn't change his family for anything.

"It means everything to me. I am not ready to be a parent but who ever really is. What do you want?"

I felt tears roll down my cheeks, he scooped me into his arms, it was surprising they didn't feel as safe as before, as safe as Quinn's had Saturday morning. I pushed that thought from my mind and took comfort in my child's father's arms. "I don't know. I am so torn, every option ends in some sort of pain."

He kissed the top of my head, "It does and it is horrible but now you must figure out what pain you can live with." It was great advice and I took it in. He was right what pain could I live with, I wish I knew.

"Just let me know when you decide."

"I will." We sat a little longer before going our separate ways. Santana and Kurt were waiting for me when I returned. I smiled at them and they let out their bated breaths.

"Plastic Boy stepped up, good." I shook my head at Santana before plopping down between my friends.

"Quinn's coming back Friday, right?" I asked. I knew the answer but I needed to hear it again.

"Yes." Kurt replied.

"Good."

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So someone noted that I have quite a few typos and mistakes in my story that interrupts the flow while reading. I apologize for this. As those of you who often read my stories know I can often take a long time between updates, I hate keeping you all waiting so when inspiration hits or I find time to actually sit and write I want to get up the updates as fast as possible and don't want to add a day or two onto updating to wait for a beta. Unfortunately this leads to a few grammar and typo mistakes (i am a terrible self proof reader). I apologize but I figure you'd rather have the updates and deal with some mistakes than wait even longer. If this really bothers you my readers I will consider the beta route. For now I will put in extra effort to find my mistakes so that the flow isn't interrupted as much. Thank you for your understanding**

**As for this chapter, I hope you all like it. I hope you like how Rachel comes to her decision and that you like what she decides. From perhaps after the next chapter on there will be more and larger time jumps. I have a lot of time (years) to cover and I don't want this story to drag on forever. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Glee belongs to its creators and FOX.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. THANKS!**

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Chapter 5.

Quinn didn't make it that Friday, she called on Thursday to apologize and tell me that she'd been selected by her professor to perform for the Board of Governor's that next Friday. I was so proud of he but I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was odd how fast something becomes routine, Quinn had be in New York two weekends in a row and it already felt weird not having her here.

The week dragged on. Quinn called a few times to check up on me but rehearsals were keeping her busy. I guess it was good thing to have so much time to myself. I focused on school and every night I sat on my bed creating Power Points for each of my options. I needed to make a decision soon. My presentation for keeping the baby was the longest but had the most questions and unknown variables. The shortest and most heart aching to create was the abortion power point. Adoption lye in the middle as it had since I found out about my pregnancy.

When not working on my power points or doing school work I hung out with Kurt and Santana, it was actually nice and refreshing. I hadn't really spent time with either of them one on one since Quinn came that fist weekend. I felt bad, like I was ignoring them. When I'd said so to them they'd both waved me off.

"It's a difficult time for you Berry. Its understandable that you'd want to be with someone who can relate."

"You're my best friends though."

"And we'll continue to be Sweetie. Neither of us feels abandoned or rejected. We like having Quinn here just as much as you, so no worries." Kurt smiled before suggesting a movie night.

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Finally it was Friday again and like clockwork Quinn was at our front door though this time when I opened the door she didn't seem as excited to see me. Instead she looked to be in shock and near tears. I was instantly worried for my rock.

"Quinn, you alright?"

She didn't respond and glanced down at the phone in her hand.

"Did someone call?" I implored a second time.

"I…umm…" She stumbled for her words. Flagging down Santana and Kurt from the kitchen they helped me move the catatonic Quinn into our apartment and onto the couch.

No one said anything. Kurt sat across from Quinn giving her a comforting smile. Santana and I sat on her left and right holding one of her cold hands in each of ours. Suddenly the phone beeped. That seemed to knock her from her stupor as she frantically lunged for the device and read the message. A lone tear cascaded down her porcelain cheek.

"Quinn?" I ventured a third time hoping she'd tell me what was going on. I was really getting scared now.

"Sh…Shelby called." She finally whispered. Kurt gasped in surprise while Santana gave me a worried look. What had Shelby wanted? Was she taking my advice? I sure hoped so.

"Is Beth alright?" Kurt hesitantly asked.

Quinn nodded, "She, Shelby, she called to apologize to me. To say she was proud of me for making such great strides in fixing my life and going after my dreams. That Beth was proud. She…" Quinn shook her head as if trying to wake up from a dream. "She said she'd been a hypocrite. That I'd done no different than she had when she tried to contact Rachel the first time."

I squeezed her hand as she paused again. There was so much turmoil swirling in her hazel depths yet I could see the beacon of hope shining through.

"She wants me to visit, to be in Beth's life again," Quinn finally chocked out. "If I want to, she texted me the directions to Beth's favorite playground in Central Park. If I want to be in Beth's life, to work things out with Shelby, I should show up there tomorrow at ten."

My heart swelled. Santana gave me a radiating appreciative smile. Shelby was taking my words to heart. She was offering Quinn a second chance and at the same time accepting my offer to get to know her, to try and build a relationship with her.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

I saw Quinn dip and close her eyes for a moment. Then she was suddenly standing and turning away from me. "S, run?" she asked desperately.

Santana was on her feet instantly, "sure Cap." Within 5 minutes the former Cheerios were changed and out the door.

Pain shot through my chest at the sound of the closing door. What had happened? I'd been supportive, I asked Quinn what she wanted and all Quinn did was throw up her walls, ignore me, and go running with Santana. What the hell. Why didn't Quinn want to talk to me about this? Who better to understand than myself, Shelby was my birth mother after all.

A strong hand came to my should and rubbed it, "Don't take it personally." Kurt's gentle voice reached me.

"How can't I? She ignored me."

Kurt sighed and guided me to sit next to him. "Rachel I know Quinn's been great these past few weeks. She's been there for you but she is still Quinn."

I glared at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Quinn is great with other people's problems other people's emotions. She gives great advice, she's a good listener, she's compassionate but when it comes to her own problems, her own emotions, she shuts down. She doesn't know how to share or open up. I believe she was taught it was weakness to show emotion, to need help."

I huffed, "But she went with Santana."

"To run. I doubt much talking will go on. Quinn needs to process what's happened. I know she doesn't talk about it, but I'm sure she thought she'd never see Beth again. Now she's been offered that chance. Even if she does talk to Santana you can't be surprised, they've been best friends for years and Santana knows more about Quinn and her life than anyone. I know you and Quinn have this unique strong bond but perhaps right now she needed someone who'd just know without asking or talking."

Everything Kurt was saying is absolutely true and I know it. As the words spilled out of his mouth I knew it was so, that Quinn needed a process to think before talking about the situation. She could do that with Santana. Santana wouldn't push. I would have. It was just the nature of our relationship. We challenged one another, forced each other to see the truth no matter how much it hurt or we weren't ready for it. Kurt was right but that didn't me I wanted him to be.

"I'd just listen." I retorted in vain as he cocked an eyebrow at me. Damn Quinn and her eyebrow raise, now everyone used it on me. "Fine I wouldn't. Come on let's get dinner ready."

Quinn and Santana returned and hour and half later and instantly disappeared behind Santana's partition. Santana was the only one to reappear.

"What's to eat Wonder Twins?" She asked as she sniffed the kitchen air.

"Chicken and rice," Kurt replied.

"Yummy." Santana made a disgusted face as she went about getting the dishes.

"Is Quinn joining?" I asked nervously.

"No."

"She should eat." I reminded the Latina.

"She'll just throw it up. Leave her be Berry, she'll come to you when she's ready."

"Did she make a decision?"

Santana sighed, "Yeah, the wrong one. Damn Russell and his brainwashing. I think I got her to see reason though. Now we just wait to see who wins, Old Quinn who feels she isn't good enough or New Quinn who knows her Dad was wrong."

I bite my lip and look towards were Quinn is hid, "I could…."

"You could nothing Berry. Nothing you say will help or matter. Q needs to make this decision on her own or she'll never go through with it, so leave her."

I acquiesced to Santana's plea. Santana knew Quinn best and if she needed space and time then I'd give it to her.

That night I stared at my power points. Pros and cons from each option right next to one another.

Keeping baby

Pros: Love, hold, and care for my child

See my child everyday

Provide for my flesh and blood

Be the mother to my child that Shelby never was to me.

Have Quinn's support.

Cons: Drop out of school

Lose Broadway dream

Expensive, can I afford it?

Move back to Lima

Disappoint my parents

End up in a dead end job.

To young, fail as a parent

Judgment of others.

Abortion

Pros: Stay in school

Continue my dream

No one else needs to know

Cons: Kill my own baby

Expensive

Possible complications later in life

Guilt

Quinn's (unexpressed) disappointment.

Adoption

Pros: Don't kill my baby

Experience of my baby's birth

Stay in school after a year deferring

Keep my dream

Least expensive

Provide a worthy family with their dream of having a child

Stay in touch if open adoption

Cons: Giving up my child, know Quinn's pain.

Disappointing my parents

Guilt, being like Shelby

No contact if closed adoption

Judgment of others

Media finding out one day

Ugh this was too hard. I didn't want to make this decision, why was this happening to me. I made one mistake, one night without protection and this happens. I've been good all my life, followed the rules, never stepped out of line once and now I'm being punished for one mistake. I grunt in frustration before shutting down my computer and going to sleep.

Someone jostling my body wakes me long before my internal clock is ready. "What?" I look around to see Quinn gazing down at me. "Quinn?"

"Hey." She said tentatively and quietly.

"What's wrong?' I push myself into sitting position.

She looked away before facing me, "Nothing, I um I have a question for you."

"Okay."

"Will…I want to see her, I need to. But and I'll understand if the answer is no…but will you go with me?"

I was shocked by her request. Just last night she shut me out and now she was here asking me to go with her to meet Beth. She took my silence the wrong way though as she began to back track.

"I'm sorry it was insensitive of me to ask. I know things between you and Shelby are shaky. I'm so sorry Rach. I…"

I placed my pointer finger against her lips to quiet her. "No, I mean I'd love to go with you. I was just shocked that you'd ask me and not Santana."

"I need my courage with me." Quinn replied.

My heart jumped but I pushed it aside because I was curious to what she meant. "Your courage?"

Quinn nodded, "You're the bravest person I know. Whenever times go tough, to hard I'd think of you and how you walked around with you r head held high no matter the torment you received. When I want to run I think what would Rachel do? I don't always do it but I think it. You make me brave Rachel I need that today."

"Then I'll be your courage Quinn." She smiled brightly and tackled me in a hug, "Good we leave in an hour."

QFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRB

I sat on a bench next to Shelby as I watched Quinn play in the grass with Beth. Quinn had been a complete mess the entire way over here. Twice I stopped her from getting of the train. When we'd seen Shelby and Beth from a distance her feet staled and her breathing quickened. "You okay?"

She nodded before taking out her inhaler and taking two puffs. Then she took my hand and we continued to our destination.

Shelby had been kind and greeted both of us with a hug. Then she reintroduced Beth to Quinn. The two blondes hit it off instantly and soon Shelby and I weren't needed as buffers so we retired to the bench I currently resided on.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

"For what?" Shelby turned to me.

I gestured to Quinn whom was pushing Beth on the swings, "For this. You have no idea what this opportunity means to her."

"Oh but I do. I'd like to start over Rachel, with you."

I took her hand in mine, "I'd like that." For the first time I really meant it. I wanted Shelby in my life; I needed her in my life.

"Have you made and decision about the baby?"

My eyes moved from Shelby to Quinn and Beth. I laughed as Beth play tackled Quinn. Identical giggles floated on the serene breeze to my ears. I felt a peace and contentment settle in me as I watched Quinn bond with her daughter. The smile that graced Quinn's angelic face was one I'd never witnessed before. She was truly beautiful when happy. Beth looked equally as happy. My hand slid to my stomach, I knew what I wanted, what I'd wanted from the beginning but was too afraid to admit.

"I'm keeping it," My voice resolute, confident, happy. "I'm going to be a mom."

As Quinn blew a raspberry on Beth's tummy I smiled, I wanted that.

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**Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: New chapter! I finished my other story Anonymous and it felt so good so I am going to make a concentrated effort this summer to finish this story as well as my other two stories, I'll always be there for you and She's Quinn Fabray: The Recovery. Hopefully I can finish them all by the end of the summer but who knows. Anyway new chapter, It picks up from where it left off with Rachel deciding to keep her baby. In case you haven't realized this is a Rachel and Quinn story, they will both have there own story lines but we will follow Quinn's through the eyes of Quinn so there is a lot of Rachel thinking about Quinn and Quinn's past, present, and future. I just don't want anyone to think I am neglecting Rachel in favor of Quinn when this story is written in Rachel's POV. Sometimes it is easier to focus on other people's problems or lives than our own, and that is what Rachel is doing with Quinn. I hope you like this new chapter. Rachel starts to plan the future and we get another glimpse into Quinn's life post high school. Please continue to review, it helps more than you know. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. Disclaimer: I do not own GLEE or any of its characters.**_

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Ch.6

Quinn had been surprisingly quiet on the way back from meeting Beth. Shelby had allowed Quinn a good hour with Beth alone while we caught up. I told her about my crazy dance teacher, I told her about Brody, and I even told her about my fling with Finn over Valentines. She mainly listened adding a comment here and there like "I remember her, very talented," and "You might want to listen to Santana about Brody, something seems off Rachel and Santana, well she has street smarts," and finally, "First loves are the hardest to let go, sometimes it is best to cut yourself off completely, just for a little while to gain perspective. If Finn is your future you will find your way back to one another. Focus on yourself and your baby right now." Soon though Beth was tired and Quinn came back carrying the little girl. Shelby informed Quinn she'd call her later and they could set up a time when the two of them could met themselves and set up some type of visitation schedule. Quinn had just nodded and thanked Shelby.

So yes Quinn hadn't said anything on the subway ride home, and she hadn't said anything to Santana and Kurt when we got back, instead she walked into Santana's room and shut the curtain. Kurt gave me a questioning look while Santana just sighed and asked what we wanted for lunch.

I was approaching Santana's curtain an hour later to tell Quinn lunch was ready when I heard her voice. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop especially when Santana could see me but I couldn't help but be curios about who Quinn felt the need to call now.

"She's gorgeous Noah." Puck that made sense, if anyone understood what Quinn was going through it would be Puck.

"It…it felt like I was whole again but someone was stabbing me through the heart at the same time…I know…She really looks like me but she has your coloring, her skin tone's darker than it was last year, and her smile, Noah it is all you. I told her not to try and go up the ladder to the big slide and she turned and smiled at me, this glint in her eye that you get when you're about to do something you know would make me upset and then she just started climbing. If I wasn't so afraid she'd fall I would have laughed. Shelby is in big trouble she definitely has your mischievous and adventurous curiosity and my stubbornness…It's hard not picturing what could have been, I see it so clearly the three of us but, we did the right thing Noah, I really believe that now. Seeing her so happy, seeing the beautiful little girl she has turned into, I feel at ease almost even if this pain won't ever go away…I miss you too. Nobody understands, not like you… Maybe you can come visit and we can see her together? Good I can't wait. Take care Noah. Call me next week. Bye love you too."

I'll admit the intimacy and familiarity of the conversation between Quinn and Noah took me by surprise. I never knew they'd become so close, I mean it makes sense they had a child together, but right after Beth was born Quinn seemed to throw up wall a mile thick between herself and Noah. They barely spoke Junior year and Senior year I guess they got closer, especially after Quinn's accident, but I hadn't realized that their relationship had turned into this. Were they together? Quinn said she loved him, was that 'I love you because you are the father of my daughter' or 'I'm in love with you lets get married." I didn't know. I thought of Brody and I didn't feel either way towards him. Sure he was the father of my baby but I didn't feel connected to him, at least not in the way Quinn and Noah seemed to be.

"Are you going to listen to her private conversations all day or are you actually going to tell her lunch is ready." I jumped turning to see Santana glaring at me.

"I…I"

"Stop stuttering Dwarf. Not cool listening but I know you are hardwired to be a snoop, go get lunch I will get Quinn." Santana whispered harshly to me. I suddenly felt guilty, Santana was right I did love to know everyone ones business, but it wasn't because I was a gossip, it was because I cared and wanted to help my friends.

I was sitting as Quinn and Santana came out from the curtain. Quinn smiled at me and Kurt but still remained quiet during lunch. As soon as it was over she disappeared. I stood and was going to go to talk to her when Santana held up a hand, "Don't." Frustrated at how Quinn could just go so cold and hot on me and how Santana seemed to be my blonde best friend's personal bodyguard I made way to my room. Midterms were this week and I had a paper to finish, a monologue to memorize, and a solo song to prepare. I also needed to start figuring out what I was going to do. I really didn't want to drop out of NYADA. I wondered if I could take a year off and come back when things settled down. Could I do that finish school while raising a child, most likely alone. I know Brody said he would support me but I hadn't heard from him since I told him about the baby, would he really step up when push came to shove. Then there was Santana and Kurt I know they would do everything for me but I couldn't ask them to sacrifice so much to help me take care of my baby. Quinn would help, but she was in New Haven, I'd only see her a couple times a month at best. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed. What was I thinking, this was impossible, there is now way I could stay in NYADA, I'd have to drop out.

"Hey." Startled for the second time today I saw Quinn standing just inside my curtain with he pajamas on. Looking at the clock I saw it was eight o'clock at night, wow time really flew when you let your mind wonder to and obsess over your problems

"Hey." I replied. Quinn bit her lip and started playing with the hem of her shirt. I have to admit it was cute to see her so nervous.

"Quinn can I help you?"

She looked up and looked away before making eye contact with me, "Can, do you mind if I stay in here for awhile?"

And we were back to warm, I swear Quinn Fabray was the most complicated and frustrating woman I had ever met. Part of me wanted to say no, I wanted to be the cold one, but I couldn't not when her hazel eyes looked so lost and her white teeth worrying her bottom lip like that, it be like saying no to a baby or kicking puppy. "Sure."

She smiled and came over falling on the bed next to me. I expected her to speak but she didn't she just lay there, her head on my shoulder, her eyes closed. I guess we weren't talking. I'd much rather talk, so if she wasn't going to talk about herself and today then I would. "I'm keeping it, my baby I want to keep him or her."

Quinn flew up her eyes wide gazing down at me, now that was the response I was looking for, "really?"

"Yes."

"Are you keep keeping it or are you keeping it to give it up for adoption?" This was the first time Quinn had flat out asked me a question in regards to my chooses; now I worried if my answer is what she wanted to hear. Why am I worried about what Quinn thinks, well she is my best friend so I guess it make sense I would want her approval. "I am keep keeping it."

There was that smile again, big and bright smiling at me, "You're going to make a wonderful mother."

I sat up crossing my legs Indian style across from her. "You think?"

"No." My heart sunk, "I know so." My heart skipped but I ignored. It.

"You were great with Beth today." She looked away, okay so maybe I just ruined our moment but I just felt she should know that.

"Do you have a plan for next year?" Quinn skipped over my Beth comment.

I shook my head, "No clue except I am going to have to drop out of NYADA." My chest tightened as the words fell out of my mouth. It was one thing to say it to myself it was a totally different thing to say it to out loud, it became real. I failed at holding back my sobs. The pain was too much. Strong thin arms embraced me and pulled me in, my head resting against soft firm breast. "Shh I have you…shh your so strong, you'll get through this I promise…shh you're amazing you know that to make such a brave decision…sh I have you, you're not alone." I kept my eyes closed and listened to Quinn gentle voice sooth me. I let out all my pain, all the frustration, all the fear. I felt safe in her arms so I just let myself go.

I don't know how long it took me too stop but when I did she took a lone finger and raised my chin with it so that I was looking into her eyes. I'd never seen such compassion and warmth in eyes before. "You are not dropping out." She said it like it was fact.

"I can't raise a baby and go to school." I retorted. I could feel the tears returning.

"I refuse to let you give up. You are not dropping out Rachel Berry. You will go and ask Ms. Tibideaux for a leave of absence for a year, I don't care what you tell her but you get the year off. We'll have year to make a plan, you will finish school Rachel Berry and you will make it on Broadway."

I stared at her in disbelieve, she glared at me, I was used to her glares but this wasn't the same as the annoyed and exhausted ones I received in high school, no there was determination and fire in this one. There was will, she was willing me succeed. With her HBIC tone and that 'don't you dare give up' look I felt the smallest amount of belief and hope well from my soul for the first time since I saw that little blue plus. "We?" I choked.

"Yes we. Rachel this baby wasn't planned and this is a huge bump in the journey to your dreams, but it is not a dead end or a cliff. You'll succeed I know you will, if anyone can do this it is Rachel Barbra Berry."

I smiled. We feel into a companionable silence. After a while I felt a need to come clean, "I heard you on the phone with Noah."

She nodded. "You're not upset?" I asked hesitantly.

She shook her head, "I kinda already knew, I heard Santana reprimand you, curtain walls and all."

Yeah curtain walls and privacy did not go hand in hand.

"You're close to him."

She nodded.

"I didn't know."

She turned and faced me our face mere inches apart. I searched her hazel pools, there was no tell. "No one does. Well Santana but that's it."

"You love him?"

"I do." She said it as if this wasn't news. She was direct.

"Are you together?" I had to know, my stomach was churning, nausea raising, the baby took a great moment to make him or herself known. I swallowed keeping the urge to barf at bay.

"No."

Alright these short answers were really annoying, why can't she just explain without me having to play twenty questions with her. I huffed in annoyance. She giggled.

"I'm sorry, No we aren't together."

"Why not if you love him?"

She shrugged and rolled back onto her back, "Puck was my first love. I still love him and I probably always will but I am not in love with him anymore. I knew after I gave Beth away that we would never work, no matter how much I wanted it at the time. So I cut him out of my life so that I could begin to move on. We both needed the separation. He agreed with me at the beginning of junior year."

I was learning so much about high school that hadn't known. So much more went on then I or any of the glee club knew. We all assumed Quinn broke Puck's heart, but the distance was a mutual decision.

"I thought that you choose to shut him out." I admitted.

"No, we were both in pain and we needed to let go in order to either find our way back to each other or to at least come to a place where we could be good friends. It took us until my accident to get there. We both got lost along the way but, almost dying it makes you reevaluate your life. At the beginning of junior year we needed to be apart, but we did need to be anymore. We realized that to really heal, properly heal we needed to do it together."

"That was really mature of you guys." I felt a little ashamed that I was surprised that Noah could make such and adult decision. Though as I was finding out first hand, having a child changes you instantly. Makes you grow up. "So you are friends now?"

"Best. Behind Santana and you, he is my best friend. No one understands like he does."

"Well yeah he gave his child up too."

Quinn shook her head, "It's not just our connection with Beth. Noah, he…" she paused I could see her biting her lip again nervously. My heart speed up, was I going to be let a little further into the secret world of Quinn Fabray, a world that apparently only Santana and Noah had been too.

"Our fathers they were very similar, there…there nature. His left before mine, years before but Noah never forgot, and when he found me one day in the summer before freshman year, well I guess you could say that was the beginning of the Quinn and Noah story. He was so gentle and understanding that day, I never forgot it."

I wanted to ask what happened that day, what she was alluding too, part of me could guess but I preferred to not too, I don't think I am ready to know the truth so I didn't probe further. "I always wondered what you saw in him, to go to him that day you felt fat."

Quinn laughed then became serious, "I didn't go to him that day because I felt fat or even because I saw Finn kiss you in the auditorium."

I gasp; she knew Finn kissed me when they were dating. "Quinn, I…I didn't," she cut me off by holding up her hand. "That is neither here nor there Rachel. It was the past, I don't care. The point is I didn't go to Noah because I felt fat that day."

"Then why?"

She looked away, "That is a story for another day. Okay enough deflecting, we were talking about you."

I hadn't been deflecting, in fact now she was the one deflecting, but I let it go. "When are you telling your Dads?"

I groaned, "I have no clue."

"You should do it soon, now even. If I learned anything with my pregnancy it was that the longer you wait the worse it gets."

I really didn't want to tell my dads, I didn't want to see the disappointment in their eyes. They'd done their best to teach me about safe sex for both woman with men and woman with woman and I had completely disregarded them. I was 19 and had already had unprotected sex with two different men.

"I can't do it." I whispered.

I felt Quinn squeeze my hand. "You can. The question is do you Skype them or do you wait until you get home."

I know that I should tell them in person, but the safety that several hundred miles provided was appealing. Besides by the time I went home this summer I would surely be showing. At my appointment the doctor said I was six weeks which meant that I was now eight weeks. My baby was due November 3rd, it seemed so far away but so close at the same time. April was upon us and Spring Break started next weekend. I hadn't planned on going home, but I guess I could.

"Are you on Spring Break next week?"

"Yes."

"Will you go home with me to tell them?" I didn't even know if she planned on going home, I doubted it, if there was anyone who wanted to stay away from Lima, Ohio it was Quinn. She'd only been back twice, for Thanksgiving and Mr. Shue's non-wedding.

It took her a few moments to answer me, but finally I felt her hand take mine, "Sure Rach. Its time I be your courage." I smiled at that, Quinn had been my courage for longer than she knew.

QFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQFQF

My childhood home looked the same as it did the day I left for New York, the blue shutters and door, the red brick, the front porch with it's six white columns. It was quaint and homey. I never thought I would fear stepping through that door.

"I'm right here." Quinn came up beside me resting a hand on my shoulder squeezing gently. We'd flown home together with Santana and Kurt. Mr. Hummel picked us up and dropped Quinn and I off before taking Santana home. We'd parted with our friends with a promise to call as soon as we could.

Gathering my strength I walked up to my door and pushed to door open, my father's were horrible at locking up. I could hear them in the kitchen so I motioned for Quinn to leave her bags at the stairs and come with. They were singing Cabaret and I giggled and rolled my eyes at Quinn who was stifling her own laugh.

Stepping in I smiled "Honey I'm home!" I sang out startling my fathers. They both stopped mid song and turned, before I knew it I was in there arms and I finally felt at home. I held in the tears I wanted to shed, I couldn't cry yet, not until I told them I was pregnant. They doted on my for several minutes before Daddy noticed a shy Quinn leaning against the kitchen door frame.

"Why Quinn Fabray, I didn't see you there, honey." My Daddy smiled before leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

"Hello Mr. Hiram." Daddy shook his head. "Just Hiram, Quinn how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Just once more, Sir." Some things never changed. Ever since Quinn started coming over to my place halfway through senior year my dads tried to get her to call them Hiram and Leroy but she refused, the most she budged to was Mr. Hiram and Mr. Leroy.

"Quinn, stunning as ever." Papa said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Mr. Leroy you look well too. Hitting the gym?" Papa laughed and flexed a muscle. "At least someone noticed." He shot a mock glare at Daddy.

"I've notice."

"Please Dads." I moaned. They could be very embarrassing. Quinn was laughing though and I had a feeling she set that up.

"So not that I am complaining, but I thought you were staying in New York for Spring Break?"

I shrugged, " I changed my mind, a little home sick I guess."

My dad's accepted my reason and after finding out that Quinn was staying the night, her mother was still away at a conference until tomorrow, we settled in for the day. We watched a movie and then made dinner together. I always enjoyed cooking with my dads, they blasted the music and we danced around the kitchen as we each made a dish. Quinn had cooked several times with us so she easily joined in.

Once dinner was over I knew I couldn't procrastinate any longer especially with Quinn giving me the stink eye. The plan was to tell them tonight so one Quinn would be here for me all night and two so my dads and I would have all week to talk and make plans.

"Daddy, Papa can we move into the living room I have to talk to you." They both looked at me confused but nodded. We moved to living room my Dads sitting across from me and Quinn. Quinn held my hand and I drew my courage from her.

"Honey what's wrong?" Daddy asked quietly. I noticed his gaze on Quinn and my joined hands and couldn't imagine what was going through his head.

"I…" a squeeze of my hand, "I am pregnant."

Silence.

I felt my eyes waters as my fathers stared at me. Then they looked at one another, more silence.

Quinn's hand moved up my arm and she slid it around my shoulder and pulled me close. The movement seemed to knock my fathers out of there shocked state.

"Oh honey." Daddy cried and moved to me followed by Papa. Once again I felt both of their arms around me. Just like I had with Quinn a week ago I let go and I cried. My fathers weren't throwing me out, they weren't yelling me. They were hugging me and telling me how much they loved me and that everything was going to be okay.

Once we were all cried out we parted. I noticed Quinn was gone. I looked around for her only to find her coming back in the room, three glasses of water in her hand. She handed the star glass to me and then the other two to my fathers. I expected her to come sit beside me but instead she stood behind the couch and simply placed a hand on my shoulder, as if she was my guard.

"Rachel," I turned to my Papa, "I won't ask how this happened all I ask is you tell us who the father is and if you have spoken to him."

"Brody, you met him over Christmas, he is the father. I have spoken to him. He says he will support me no matter what my decision is."

Papa just nodded, his features harder now. Daddy was stroking Papa's hand with his thumb.

"What is your decision? Have you thought about it?"

"I have Daddy. After talking to Quinn and going through the pamphlets she got me I've decided that I want to keep my child." I decided it wasn't a good idea to tell them I had talked to Shelby before them.

"Alright. I think that is a very brave and selfless decision Rachel, however have you thought about school and Broadway."

Now the hard question would come. "I have. I want to finish school and I still want to be on Broadway. I realize that that will be very difficult with a child but I am determined to achieve my goals. Quinn, Santana, and Kurt have offered to help me."

"Quinn is in New Haven and Kurt and Santana have their own schooling and dreams." Papa pointed out. I felt Quinn rub my shoulder slightly, an assurance that she was there for me no matter what.

"I know that and I have told them that I don't expect them to help me, but at this time all three are adamant to help. I know that I have disappointed the both of you and I am so sorry for that. I won't burden you with this. I will find my way."

Daddy gasped and Papa's eyes narrowed at me. "Rachel Barbra Berry what type of parents do you think we are that we would leave you to deal with this by yourself. I am offended and hurt Rachel as is your Daddy."

"We are not disappointed Rachel," Daddy cried. Papa wrapped him in a hug. I didn't mean to hurt them or upset them, I just, I know this isn't what they wanted for me.

"No Papa, Daddy, I know you wouldn't I just. I don't know Papa I am disappointed in myself; I just thought you would be too. I made a mistake and it's my responsibility to deal with the consequences. I didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't be here for me."

Papa stood and kneeled in front of me so our eyes were level, "Rachel you are our daughter and we love you no matter what. As your parents it is our pleasure to help you no matter the mistake. We are here for you and will support you in any way you need."

I started to cry and again and threw myself at my Papa and he held me tight. "I love you," he mumbled into my ear. "I love you too." Daddy joined us and we hugged for a long time. Once again we parted.

Quinn was still standing guard behind my seat. I looked up at her, trying to gauge her reactions but her mask was firmly in place and I couldn't see any emotion, she was stoic.

"Quinn." Daddy called to her. She turned her eyes to him still not showing any emotion.

"Mr. Hiram?"

"I wanted to thank you for being there for our Rachel."

"It was nothing Mr. Hiram." She waved off his thanks. "If everything is alright here now, I will go upstairs to give you three time to talk." She looked down at me for permission and I nodded slightly. She'd been here for the hard part, no I need to discuss my options with my fathers alone. Quinn said goodnight to my dads and disappeared quietly.

"She become quite the friend." Daddy noted.

"She has. I don't know if I'd survived that past four weeks without her. Kurt and Santana have been amazing, but Quinn, she's been, I don't know my rock. She came down no questions asked; she didn't pressure me, only supported me and let me come to my decision on my own."

Papa looked upstairs, "Must be hard on her." I knew he was alluding to Quinn's own teen pregnancy.

"I wouldn't know, she hasn't broken down to me, though I think she has too Santana. She's only been happy and supportive to me."

"She wouldn't break down to you." Daddy said matter of factly. "So your plan, what is it?" Daddy moved on and I followed his lead. We talked for nearly an hour about all my choices. I didn't make a decision but it relieving to know that whatever I decided my fathers would be there for me. As I slid I passed the guest room and looked in on Quinn I felt guilty. I was getting the parental support she never did. I sympathized with her back in high school but now I empathized with her, in the seconds it took for my fathers to respond to my confession I felt a fraction of what she felt when her parents cast her aside and I couldn't imagine feeling anymore.

Shutting the door quietly I made my way to my room. Tomorrow was another day and somehow it seemed brighter than today.

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_**Please Review. Thank you.**_


	7. Chapter 7

A/N:** Yeah so i finally finished this chapter, I think I wrote it seven different ways and I finally liked this one so I went with it. Didn't put in the big twist (well little twist) as i had planned but I think I set it up better so I can put it in next chapter. Thank you for reviewing I really appreciate it. I hope you like this chapter. Disclaimer: I do not own GLEE or any of its characters. Glee belongs to its creators and FOX.**

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Ch.7

Quinn wasn't at my home when I woke up the next morning. I was slightly disappointed but I had slept until noon and I knew she had to get home to see her mom. From what I could tell from the little snips of information Quinn gave me she and her mother were still working on their relationship. Apparently they hadn't been very close while Quinn was growing up, Judy was in AA now, and it was hard for both women to put aside their hurt and guilt (mainly on Judy's side) but they were both trying and that was the important thing. My fingers itched to call my friend but I refrained, Quinn needed this time with her mother.

Breakfast was a comfortable affair, though my fathers hovered over me like I was going to break and I gave Daddy a heart attack when I asked for eggs. He pouted the rest of breakfast and being "the only vegetarian now." Papa was ecstatic at not being the "only carnivore" and began planning meat dinners. I had to calm him down and tell him that even though I was no longer a vegetarian I was not going to eat meat constantly and that as soon as the baby was born I was back to my vegetarian ways. He'd shrugged and said, "I'll take what I can get for as long as I can."

After breakfast I went to the Lima Bean to meet up with Santana and Kurt to tell them how last night went.

"So Papa Berries didn't have a coronary when you told them." Santana asked as she sipped her mocha latte with an extra espresso shot. I was surprised she wasn't always bouncing off the wall with how much caffeine she consumed a day.

"No, they were admittedly shocked but completely supportive. I am truly lucky."

Kurt nodded as he leaned back his eye gazing into his chi tea. "Did you discuss your plans?"

"Some. The obviously want me to come home so they can support me during the pregnancy."

"What about NYADA?" He asked looking up, "that would mean you would have to drop out."

I sighed, "I know, so do they, but I don't think they care about my education as much as my health and the baby."

"You going to do it then, drop out and move to Lima?" Santana didn't look to pleased about this idea. Her face was scrunched in disgust at the idea. It was nice, seeing her upset about me moving away.

"I don't know yet. I mean, I don't want to drop out and move home but if it is best for the baby I might just have too." This really sucked, having to consider the child growing in me, not being about to do whatever I wanted to attain my dream.

"Did you tell them we would help you." Kurt implored leaning closer to me. "We will you know that."

"I don and I told them but they don't think it is fair on you two or Quinn to ask you to do that for me."

Santana scoffed, "We don't care if it's fair or not it is the right thing to do, sure it will be hard with me starting school and Kurt doing school and the Vogue internship but I am sure between the three of us we can handle it and we know Q will be in NYC as often as she can get her white ass down."

I nodded everything Santana said was true. I really did want to stay in New York but at the same time I wasn't sure if I could handle watching Kurt go off to NYADA every day and Santana go to TISCH while I stayed at home. It was to heartbreaking to even think about.

"Speaking of Quinn how was she last night?"

"Perfect Kurt. She stood by me as I told my parents and she gave us space to talk when she was sure that everything was okay. I actually haven't gotten a chance to thank her for last night because she as already gone when I woke up."

"Yeah, Judy wanted to have a whole mother/daughter bonding day starting with breakfast at like 8 in the morning or something ridiculous like that. She'll be busy all weekend. Judy is turning into a suffocating mother always wanting to be together and doing stuff together, she is driving Q crazy but Quinn won't do anything about it because an overly involved mother is better than the emotionally and physically absent mother Judy was for Q's first 17 years. I think the only quality time they spent together when Q was growing up was when Judy was teaching her all those etiquette and cooking lessons."

As much as I like the glimpses into Quinn's family life that Santana gave me every so often I was sure Quinn would not be happy about it. "San, stop you know Quinn doesn't like it when you talk about her Mom like that."

Santana shrugged, "I only speak the truth but fine, so what's everyone's plans for the rest of the week?" We spent another half hour talking. Santana was planning on spending as much time with Brittany as she could before she left. Brittany was still with Sam which annoyed Santana but she was dealing and she admitted she'd rather have Brittany in her life as a friend than not at all. Kurt was going to be spending time with Burt who was back from DC for awhile.

After the Lima Bean I decided to go to main street and window shop at the local stories and maybe stop in the music store. I had just entered it when I saw him, Finn was perusing the Vinyl records at the front of the store. I tried to exit quickly but it was no use.

"Rach." I sighed and turned to find Finn taking long steps towards me. I studied him, he looked good, his hair short, he looked leaner than he had last time I saw him, or maybe I was just paying attention this time, I was rather drunk the last time we spent time together. I had to admit he looked great, older more mature.

"Finn hello." I tiptoed as he leaned down and we hugged, how awkward that we both had to do so much to give each other a proper hug.

"Hi Rachel. How are you?"

"I am good. You?" He rubbed the back of his head like he always did when he was nervous, it was still so cute and endearing.

"Good, um just looking at some records to help me plan this week's Glee lesson. Mr. Schue is coming back this week and I want to impress him with my last lesson."

I smiled at him. "I am sure whatever you have planned will be great. You are a very good teacher."

He gave me a lopsided shy smile, "You think so?" his tone unsure and hopeful.

"I know so." I said it confidently, if there was one thing in this world I knew that Finn would be good at it was teaching. He was so caring, he was patient, and he knew how to reach people.

"So um, we never go to talk about Valentine's Day." His eyes bounced of the walls never making eye contact with mine.

"Finn can we not do this here." There were so many people around and I preferred not airing out my dirty laundry in front of them.

"Walk?" I guess I had too, I couldn't put this off any longer. I was done with Finn, at least for right now, and I didn't want to lead him on any longer. It wasn't fair to him or myself. I also had my baby to think about and bouncing back and forth between being in and not being in a relationship with Finn was not right and not the type of emotional environment I wanted to expose my child too.

"Sure, come on." We walked silently to Hart Park in the middle of town and sat on the wooden bench over looking the pound. Cherry trees were beginning to bloom, the pond reflected back light pinks and purples and white. Lily pads dotted the crystal surface with yellow and green.

"I…Valentine's was amazing Rachel. I miss you so much and that night, well I haven't felt more complete than I did with you that night."

The knife sliced into my heart. His eyes shimmered with truth and sincerity. I felt horrible for what I was about to say. It was agonizing to know that I was going to break his heart today.

"Finn…" Looking up at him I paused. The boy I used to love was still there I could see him, but there was a man emerging a strong confident man who was just beginning his journey finding out who he was and what he wanted to do with his life. I admired this man but I did not love him. "Valentine's was nice but…It was closer for me."

He physically flinched to my words, "What?"

"I am so sorry Finn but after that night I realized that what we had it was gone. I think it disappeared after you putt me onto that train to New York by myself."

He was shaking his head in denial, "No I did that so you could follow your dream so that we could have a future on day." His voice sounded so childlike.

"I know and I can't thank you enough for letting me go, I am following my dream the best I can, and that is because of you but Finn, I…I don't love you anymore."

He looked away and when he turned to face me again his eyes were hard and guarded, "You don't mean that."

"I do. Finn, I…I don't think about you in New York, I don't ache to have you beside me, I don't dream about you, I don't yearn for you." I could see him getting more and more upset with each admission and it hurt to see but it had to be done, I had to stop this cycle we had created.

"I think about you every day, I yearn for you, I wake in the morning and reach out to feel you next to me and there is nothing."

Tears fell from my eyes, "I don't do that. Finn I am so sorry but we, we are done, I can't do this back and forth anymore. It isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to me. I have more important thing to think about right now than whether or not we should be together."

"Like NYADA." He spat out, "Broadway." It was curse on his lips.

I shook my head, "No, I'm pregnant Finn."

Whatever retort he had fell from his lips, his eyes grew wide, the hardness of his eyes shifted to shock, then fear, and finally softened to the beautiful brown I used to dream of.

"Is it mine?"

"No, I was already a month pregnant when we slept together I just didn't know it. I am so sorry Finn."

"Brody?" It wasn't really a question.

"Yes."

"Are you together?" He couldn't look at me as she asked.

"No. I am doing this alone, well he said he would support me but we aren't a couple. I don't love him. He was a rebellion on my part, and attempt to shed High School Rachel, Finn's Rachel."

Finn didn't respond for a long time, I was preparing to leave when he placed a hand on mine, "Is this the real reason you say we can't be together?"

"No, it isn't part of it at all. Finn you deserve a woman who will love you with her whole heart, who will stand beside you as you follow your dreams. I was shellfish with us, your dreams were just as important as mine and I didn't acknowledge that, you deserve better."

"You were never shellfish." He squeezed my hand. Finn was taking this a lot better than I had expected but I shouldn't have been surprised, he was growing up just as I was. "I…I can help if you want, no strings." He promised. I believed him but I couldn't do that.

"I will be alright Finn, I have Kurt and Santana and Quinn supporting me, thank you but I can't ask you to help me now."

"Quinn huh?" There was something in his voice that I couldn't place so I ignored it.

"Yeah she has been great, my rock."

He didn't respond instead he stood but not before laying a soft kiss to my lips, "I'll always love you Rachel, good luck."

"You too Finn." Then he was gone and I was alone with the Loon that sang solemnly in the distance.

RBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQFRBQF

My stomach clenched and rolled up forcing the bile from my stomach again and my whole body convulsed. Exhausted I rested my forehead on the toilet seat not caring for the germs, I'd been throwing up for what felt like hours now and it didn't seem to want to subsided. As another wave of nausea rolled up through her she heard someone enter the room, I thought it was my Papa but as I felt the petite hand run through my hair pulling it back and rubbing my back I knew it was Quinn without even seeing her. As the nausea subsided I let myself be pulled back and rested in Quinn's hug. She held me tight and firm, stroking me scalp, I instantly calmed. "I hate this." I croaked out eventually my voice raw from throwing up so long.

"It is the second worst part of pregnancy." She commented,

"The first?"

"Labor." I could hear the smile in her voice. We stayed like that a while longer and once I felt strong enough she help me up. I rinsed and my mouth and brushed my teeth before turning to her. "I haven't seen you all week."

She shrugged, "My mom actually took the week off when I told her I was coming home for the week. She's taken me to the mall, then we went to Columbus for three days, so yeah lots of mommy/daughter time." She sounded happy but annoyed at the same time.

"It must be nice, you know that she wants to spend so much time with you." I hedged. Her shoulders rose and then sank, "I guess. Sometimes I think it's a little too late you know." I nodded, "But then I think now is better than never."

"I'm glad you are giving her a chance." I could see where Quinn was coming from, I often felt the same way about Shelby.

"Me too. So we leave tomorrow and I thought I could maybe stay with you guys tonight since I have to go right to Yale when we get to New York."

I smiled and clapped, "I'd love that."

I dragged Quinn to my room and pulled out my movie collection, "What do you want to watch?"

"Don't you want to do this with your dads?"

"No. Come on we have all day to have a movie marathon." She laughed and jumped on my bed, "I don't know you pick first." I knew Quinn had a thing for old movies so I pulled out _The Philadelphia Story._ She was surprised I had it, I lied and said it was my daddy's but really I had seen it at Target over Christmas and I had remembered Quinn mentioning that she loved Katharine Hepburn so I picked it up so I could have a movie she would like to watch if she ever came to my house again. I had to admit that Katharine was amazing and such a great actress, when I told Quinn I hadn't seen her in any other movies she was offended apparently and grabbed my computer linking to her Netflix account, we spent the rest of the day having a Hepburn marathon. We started with _Bringing Up Baby_, followed by _Adam's Rib, African Queen, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner_ (which I adored),and finished with _On Golden Pond_ which made me cry like I had never cried before at a movie. It was late by the time we finished I turned to Quinn and smiled at her, "Thank you."

She looked confused, "For what?"

"For introducing me to such amazing movies, I was so obsessed with musicals growing up that I barely watched anything else, and if I did it was current movies so I could talk to my peers about if they ever asked. But this, this was such an experience, to see how acting has changed over the decades is enlightening, it was so dramatic and exaggerated, the eye and facial movements, it feels nearly fake at times but compelling too. Then there is Katharine and she was so different from the other actors, she brought a subtlety to roles, the skills the actors use today. She was revolutionary I believe."

Quinn nodded, "She along with Audrey Hepburn, Lucille Ball and Sophia Loren are my role models, I mean I think Meryl Streep is phenomenal and Kate Winslet is the best actress of our generation and I really look up to them, but Katharine, Audrey, Lucille, and Sophia broke down so many walls both in their industry and in society. They were so talented and they used that talent to make a difference. Katharine rarely wore dresses, did you know that?"

I shook my head, "No."

"You'll see her in them in movies because that was the time and what the movies called for, but in her personal life she wore pants even at the Oscars, she only attended once to present the Irving Thalberg Award to her good friend Lawrence Weingarten, despite being nominate 12 times and winning a record 4 "Best Actress" awards, she receive a standing ovation that night, she was considered "box office poison" after her early success because critics didn't like that she wore pants, didn't give interviews, and was blunt and honest, she went back to Broadway where she stared in _The Philadelphia Story_ and when it was hit she bought the movie rights and brought it to Hollywood with having last say on everything it was a huge hit and her career took off again. She did all her own stunts in a time that it was unheard of for women. She never apologized for who she was and never cared what the public thought. I wish I could care less like she did." The end of Quinn's little rant was wishful.

I didn't know what to say to her last statement but before I could say anything she smiled and winked at me, "The only tie for "Best Actress" at the Oscars was Katharine for _The Lion Winter _and Barbra Streisand for _Funny Girl._"

My mouth fell "Are you serious?"

"Yup." She broke into laughter and I joined her. This was the first time Quinn ever shared something obviously so important to her with me. The passion in which she spoke about Katharine was beautiful.

"You'll be a great actress just like her." I said seriously.

"You think so?"

"Definitely."

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